My inner critic invites you to tag along on a journey through the deepest, darkest realms of bad fiction, as epitomized in the fanfictional beginnings of the now bestselling series 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. In other words, I am doing a through and critical reading of 'Master of the Universe' by Snowqueens Icedragon. Be warned: Kinky fuckery lies ahead (admittedly most of it is being censored, what with genitalia being vaguely alluded to as 'way down there', or simply just 'there'.) Nevertheless, twelve-year-olds, consider yourselves warned.
I like this.” He gently tugs at my pubic hair. “Perhaps we’ll keep this.”
“Oh… please,” I beg.
Edward: “Yeah, okay, sure. But only because you asked so nicely!”
The dialogue in this book has reached a brand new low.
I want you sore, baby,” he murmurs and he continues his sweet leisurely torment, backwards, forward. “Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.
I don’t think she’s liable to forget that he was there during the next twenty-four hours, so inflicting lasting pain upon her is rather pointless.
I cannot move my head. I am pinioned beneath him, helpless.
“You are mine,” he whispers. “Don’t forget it.” His voice is intoxicating.
I guess I missed the part where Bella went from being a person to being an object, the part where Bella signed the contract, and the part where Edward asked her if she wanted to enter into a monogamous relationship with him.
With or without her consent, she is now his property.
Mike, I’m with a customer. Someone you should meet,” I say to try and diffuse the antagonistic look in Cullen’s eyes. I drag Mike over to meet him. “Can I introduce you to Edward Cullen?”
Mike and Edward eye each other up and the atmosphere is suddenly arctic.
Nothing beats a little male rivalry over an altogether unlikable female.