-
I’ll just make a call,” I murmur. I just want to hear Rose’s voice.
He frowns. “The photographer?” His jaw clenches and his eyes burn. I blink at him. “I don’t like to share Miss Swan, remember that.” His quiet chilling tone is a warning, and with one long, cold look at me he heads back to the bedroom.So, now it appears that Edward wants Bella to cut all contact with her male friends, simply because he “doesn’t like to share”.
Excerpt from an article called ‘How can I teach my toddler to share?”:
When your toddler refuses to share his favorite truck (or even his least favorite truck), he isn’t really being selfish — he’s just acting his age.
And when your boyfriend refuses to let you hang out with your male friends, he isn’t really being selfish - he’s just acting like a toddler.
-
Look Jake, now’s not a good time.” I glance anxiously over at Edward who’s watching me intently, his face impassive. I turn my back to him.
“Where are you? Rose is being so evasive,” he whines.
“I’m in Seattle.”
“What are you doing in Seattle? Are you with him?”
“Jake, I’ll call you later. I can’t talk to you now.Oh, so you do realize that this is not a good time to take a personal phone call? The question that begs to be asked is, ‘Why the hell did you pick up the phone in the first place?!’.
Notice that Bella’s more concerned about what Edward will think about her talking to one of her male friends, than she is about what Edward’s mother will think of her for picking up the phone during their introduction.
-
So you are graduating this week?” Esme asks.
“Yes.”
My cell phone starts to ring.
Rose, I bet.
“Excuse me.” It’s in the kitchen. I wander over and lean across the breakfast bar, not checking the number.You have just met your lover’s mother for the first time, and you have literally only spoken three words to her (the words being “Mrs.”, “Cullen”, and “yes”, for anyone who was curious).
If you’re trying to make a good first impression, this is not the right time to excuse yourself to take a phone call from one of your friends.
-
That is going to be one difficult square to circle… she’s so tenacious and she’s going to want to know, in detail… and I can’t tell her I’ve signed a… what was it called…? NDA… she’ll freak… and rightly so. I need a plan.
Context: Bella just talked to her best friend Rose on the phone. Rose could hear through the phone that Bella was no longer a virgin, and naturally wanted to know the details of her friend’s deflowering.
I don’t understand why the NDA would prohibit Bella from telling Rose about her sexual exploits with Edward last night. Nothing kinky happened, after all.
Of course, Bella hasn’t read the contract she signed yet, so she clearly hasn’t a clue what she is or isn’t allowed to talk about.
Either way, I doubt she’ll bring up the issue of devising the cunning plan she mentions above ever again.
-
Please Bella… let me make love to you.”
“Yes,” I whisper… because that’s why I’m here.Good. You’re finally admitting it to yourself.
Doesn’t make you any less of a hoebag.
-
This will be your room. You can decorate it how you like, have whatever you like in here.”
“My room? You’re expecting me to move in?” I can’t hide the horror in my voice.Seriously?
You’ve known each other for six hours.
The fact that he already has a room ready for you is more than just a little bit creepy.
-
Edward, what you fail to understand is that I wouldn’t talk about us to anyone anyway, even Rose, so it’s immaterial to me whether I sign an agreement or not. If it means so much to you, or your lawyer, whom you obviously talk to, then fine. I’ll sign.”
He gazes down at me and he nods gravely. “Fair point well made, Miss Swan.No, it’s not a ‘fair point well made’.
Spoiler alert: A few pages from now, Bella will be found begging Edward to let her talk to Rose about sex. Edward will refer to the agreement and deny her the freedom of speech.
-
He hands me a pen.
“Aren’t you even going to read it?”
“No.”
He frowns at me. “Isabella, you should always read anything you sign.Thank you, Edward, for providing the only reasonable thing anyone has said so far in this ‘book’.
Unfortunately, Bella isn’t about to listen to reason.
My inner critic invites you to tag along on a journey through the deepest, darkest realms of bad fiction, as epitomized in the fanfictional beginnings of the now bestselling series 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. In other words, I am doing a through and critical reading of 'Master of the Universe' by Snowqueens Icedragon. Be warned: Kinky fuckery lies ahead (admittedly most of it is being censored, what with genitalia being vaguely alluded to as 'way down there', or simply just 'there'.) Nevertheless, twelve-year-olds, consider yourselves warned.
