I know that lip is delicious, I can attest to that, but will you stop biting it?” he says through clenched teeth. “You chewing it… makes me want to fuck you, and you’re sore, okay?
If this doesn’t get you hot and bothered to the point where you actually have to clench your teeth, I don’t know what will.
Ready?” he asks.
I nod… and want to say for anything … but I can’t get the words out as I am too nervous, too excited.
You don’t have to say it. The readers have full access to the hell that is your brain, and we have already deduced that your body is ready.
He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Like Eve, you’re so quick to eat from the tree of knowledge,” he smirks.
I see what you did there, E. L.
The apple on the cover of Twilight represents “forbidden fruit.” I used the scripture from Genesis (located just after the table of contents) because I loved the phrase “the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.”Isn’t this exactly what Bella ends up with? A working knowledge of what good is, and what evil is?
- Stephenie Meyer
Did you undress me?” I whisper.
“Yes… ” He quirks an eyebrow at me as I blush furiously.
“We didn’t…” I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can’t complete the question. I stare at my hands.
“Isabella, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive…. Trust me,” he says dryly.
Oh, goodie. Foreshadowing.
Also, I’m positively surprised that necrophilia is frowned upon in this edition of Twilight. In the original Twilight, the ethical dilemmas relating to necrophilia were never addressed, despite the fact that the entire “plot” revolved around a harebrained protagonist doing unspeakable acts with a corpse.
There isn’t much good to be said about ‘Fifty Shades’, but I believe in giving credit where credit is due. Dear E. L. James: Thank you for not writing yet another vampire novel. The world has too many of them as it is.
I glance up. “You can tell what I’m thinking?” I think I actually scoff at him. No way can he tell what I’m thinking… well, I sincerely hope not.
“No… it’s very frustrating. I’m usually very good at reading people. But you… you’re very self contained.
I this snippet was included in the published version, I think Stephenie Meyer has a solid foundation for suing E. L. James.
Mike, I’m with a customer. Someone you should meet,” I say to try and diffuse the antagonistic look in Cullen’s eyes. I drag Mike over to meet him. “Can I introduce you to Edward Cullen?”
Mike and Edward eye each other up and the atmosphere is suddenly arctic.
Nothing beats a little male rivalry over an altogether unlikable female.
What is your thing, Isabella?” he asks softly. […]
“Books.” I squeeze the word out, and inside, that strange place in my medulla oblongata is firing synaptic impulses at me, screaming You! You are my thing!
Based on Bella’s descriptions and the evidence so far, I have constructed a map of Bella’s brain.
Perhaps I’ve spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.
Methinks that your author has spent far too long delving into the Twilight books, and consequently she has become confused when it comes to what healthy romantic ideals are.
He’s so bright – but his real passion is photography… he has a real eye for a great picture.
I bet this will come in handy at some point.
He places his elbows on the arms of the chair and steeples his fingers in front of his mouth. His mouth is very distracting…
Maybe that’s why he’s trying to hide it from your view?
His mouth quirks up at me and he stares at me appraisingly. “Possibly… though there are people I know who’d say I don’t have a heart.
‘Does Edward have a heart or not?’ shouldn’t be an adequate plot to carry a triology, much like how ‘Does Edward have a soul or not?’ shouldn’t be an adequate plot line to carry a “saga”.
I know there are already blogs out there picking ”Fifty Shades of Grey” to pieces, so I think that it would be more interesting for my sake to look with righteous condemnation upon its unedited blueprint, namely ”Master of the Universe” written by E. L. James (under cover of the not at all ridiculous pseudonym “Snowqueens Icedragon”). I’m given to understand that the two pieces are 89 shades of identical, but there you go. On this blog I will provide a critical and thorough reading of “Master of the Universe”.
Normally, I wouldn’t pick on fanfiction, but the second you submit your fic to a publisher, it’s fair game as far as I see it. Especially considering that fanfiction in its essence is expounding on someone else’s creativity (not thereby saying that Stephenie Meyer put in a whole lot of hard work when she put her wet dreams down in words, but you get my drift).
Changing the characters’ names does not an original piece of crap make, and I refuse to put even more money into E. L. James’ piggybank than what she has already made for regurgitating Smeyer’s work.
Also, I am far too socially awkward to approach a cashier with ’Fifty Shades of Grey’ in my hands.
In addition to this, I’m given to understand that Edward’s character has been redubbed “Christian” in the published version. The name “Christian” automatically makes me think of the religious persuasion, which in turn makes me unable to picture anyone other than Jesus in the main role. Needless to say, this is unnerving at best.