My Inner Critic

My inner critic invites you to tag along on a journey through the deepest, darkest realms of bad fiction, as epitomized in the fanfictional beginnings of the now bestselling series 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. In other words, I am doing a through and critical reading of 'Master of the Universe' by Snowqueens Icedragon. Be warned: Kinky fuckery lies ahead (admittedly most of it is being censored, what with genitalia being vaguely alluded to as 'way down there', or simply just 'there'.) Nevertheless, twelve-year-olds, consider yourselves warned.

So you are graduating this week?” Esme asks.
“Yes.”
My cell phone starts to ring.
Rose, I bet.
“Excuse me.” It’s in the kitchen. I wander over and lean across the breakfast bar, not checking the number.

You have just met your lover’s mother for the first time, and you have literally only spoken three words to her (the words being “Mrs.”, “Cullen”, and “yes”, for anyone who was curious).

If you’re trying to make a good first impression, this is not the right time to excuse yourself to take a phone call from one of your friends.

Tagged: Seriously Who does this? A normal person would have turned it off What is wrong with these characters? Less than a page ago Bella was despairing because she didn't have any clothes nice enough to meet Edward's mother Now she's talking everything awfully chill Continuity Bad writing E. L. James Fifty Shades of Grey Master of the Universe

Posted on June 30, 2012

My Inner Critic

So you are graduating this week?” Esme asks. “Yes.” My cell phone starts to ring.Rose, I bet. “Excuse me.” It’s in the kitchen. I wander over and lean across the breakfast bar, not checking the number.

So you are graduating this week?” Esme asks.
“Yes.”
My cell phone starts to ring.
Rose, I bet.
“Excuse me.” It’s in the kitchen. I wander over and lean across the breakfast bar, not checking the number.