June 2012
603 posts
11 tags
“Beautiful … I flush with pleasure. Edward thinks I’m beautiful. I knot my...”
– “Beautiful… I grind my teeth in annoyance. Edward thinks she’s beautiful. I knot my fingers together, stare at the screen, and wonder why E. L. James can’t come up with something original.”
7 tags
“He runs his hand through his hair again.”
– Only one hand? I guess he’s only half as exasperated now.
9 tags
“And a nice young man hasn’t swept you off your feet? I just don’t understand…...”
– Yes, it’s quite difficult to comprehend that not everyone has been ravaged by a ‘nice young man’ by the ripe old age of twenty-one.
Seriously, Edward’s making it out to sound as though Bella is an old spinster.
7 tags
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me,” he castigates me.
“The subject...”
– Thank you, Bella! The first sensible thing you’ve said so far in this book pile of crap.
8 tags
“Edward is running both his hands through his hair and pacing up and down his...”
– I running one hand through one’s hair is an expression of exasperation, then two hands through one’s hair must mean… double exasperation!
Logic brought to you by Isabella Swan.
9 tags
“You’re a virgin?” he breathes.
I nod, flushing again.
He closes his eyes and...”
– Ever the charmer.
7 tags
“Any sane person wouldn’t want to be involved in this sort of thing, surely?”
– No. No, they wouldn’t.
9 tags
“How about an hour on three days and one day half an hour?”
“Three days, three...”
– This is what passes for good negotiation skills these days?
10 tags
“I don’t want to exercise four times a week.”
“Isabella, I need you supple,...”
– Among his many other great qualities, Edward is clearly a great compromiser.
8 tags
“I want to lavish money on you. Let me buy you some clothes. I may need you to...”
– He wants to ‘lavish money’ on her, and he clothes he ‘would like’ her to wear are too expensive to be afforded by an average American income?
Yes, Edward is quite the philanthropist.
9 tags
“I’m not sure about accepting money for clothes. It feels wrong.” I shift...”
– You’ll get over it, sweetheart.
Also, you should listen to that voice inside your head more often. It makes good points.
8 tags
“The Submissive will conduct herself in a respectful and modest manner at all...”
– Respectful and modest?
That’s pretty much the opposite of everything this contract represents.
8 tags
“Exercise: The Dominant shall provide The Submissive with a personal trainer four...”
– The fuck? Why?!
No one needs this amount of exercise unless they’re training for the Olympics.
8 tags
“Clothes: During the Term, the Submissive will wear clothing only approved by The...”
– Remind me again how this differs from prostitution?
8 tags
“The Submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit.”
– Oh, God. Yes, we wouldn’t want Bella to become fat.
10 tags
“Sleep: The Submissive will ensure she achieves a minimum of eight hours sleep a...”
– Eight hours minimum, you say?
Excerpt from TIME:
Studies show that people who sleep between 6.5 hr. and 7.5 hr. a night, as they report, live the longest. And people who sleep 8 hr. or more, or less than 6.5 hr., they don’t live quite as long. There is just as much risk associated with...
8 tags
“RULES Obedience: The Submissive will obey any instructions given by The Dominant...”
– So we’ve arrived at the dreaded RULES.
Why anyone would want to agree to these terms is beyond me. She has to display eagerness, even if she’s not at all eager to do whatever he’s requesting? Geez…
8 tags
“Have you ever been beaten?”
“Yes.”
Oh. That surprises me […]”
–
9 tags
“Will you hurt me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Physically, will you hurt me?”
“I...”
– Yep. You’re definitely not a sadist.
10 tags
“I think you have that cliché the wrong way round,” I grumble. I am the moth and...”
– I think this entire books has all the clichés the wrong way round. 